"i recall the days and ways of love we made...."
that cologne. it smelled so good on him, like it was created especially for his very being. those tattooed arms. i loved it when he wrapped them around my neck, making me feel completely secure and protected. that voice. he always sounded so laid-back and calm like he was always high. his touch. it always sent chills down my spine no matter how small. that signature smirk that always let me know he had something up his sleeve.
i'm missing everything about him. i used to be so good at hiding my feelings but as i've gotten older, its become increasingly harder to do. im no longer able to hide the way i feel about him. i can put on a front all i want but at the end of the day when its just me and my thoughts, i know what the truth is. i'm still in love with him.
not being able to touch him or see him is the most fucked up feeling in the world. im trying to convince myself to just let go because it just doesnt seem to be working out in our favor but there's still that part of me that's saying hold on. i wish we could just go back to the time when things were simple. when we laid in the bed and watched "tom and jerry" and talked shit about how tom never could catch jerry and how slick jerry was. i wish we could just go back to all the times we'd joke and laugh or fall asleep watching tv. i wish we could just go back to us....
this goes out to you: my number one.
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